Caring for one another in a disquieting time: a personal essay
Saturday morning, March 14. I get up and set one goal for today, to be happy. It used to be easier, but today it isn’t. The pandemic, the national and international emergency, weighs heavily.
It is not that I am scared for myself. I am strong, healthy, symptom-free for now and ensconced in our home with my husband, Terry. The number of coronavirus cases in our community is growing. We’re fortunate to have heat, clean water and supplies, comforts I often take for granted.
I am worried for my 90-year-old mother, whose assisted living facility in Sacramento, California has just closed to visitors. I am grateful I visited her last week. She is healthy, not in pain. My brother and I baked with her. Even with dementia she remembered her Mandel bread recipe with jam and stirred the batter. Her right hand, bent and unresponsive to her will, was able to turn the spoon in the bowl a few times.
I am so grateful to have recently seen our son Matthew. He is happy and started a new job on Monday. What a week to join a new company.
Virtually all coaching sessions this week have revolved around deep planning with leaders for how to keep their teams and businesses safe in the midst of this crisis. The severity of the situation is present and growing.
I am worried for those who are ill and those who will be. I am worried for the vulnerable. How available will treatment be? I am worried for all of us, and all working people.
This isn’t a science fiction novel. It’s real. How quickly this virus has taken hold and spread. How shockingly fast the fragility of our durable world has been exposed, on every level.
I cook. That’s what I do when I seek comfort and want to comfort others. Chicken with shallots and cherry tomatoes. Lemon pasta with brown butter. Sautéed Brussels sprouts. Our daughter Rachel comes for dinner. I am so happy to have her close by.
We turn off the news. Overload from the last few days. While cooking, we watch a movie, Brothers of the Wind. The story of a wounded boy and a wounded eagle who heal and grow strong together. Set in the French Pyrenees. Breathtaking vistas. Shocking beauty.
Tears are close. Feel my feelings, I say to myself. It is a time to weep.
As business leaders, it’s also a time to ask ourselves in what ways we will demonstrate our responsibility for the well-being of team members entrusted to us and the well-being of our organizations, colleagues, partners, stakeholders and communities. This time is a reminder that nothing is more important than the health and safety of all people.
While following the CDC guidelines is a good guide, let’s take a moment to ask ourselves, “Who do you want to be as a leader in this time of great uncertainty, when the health and safety of people are at risk?”
Late afternoon I want music: Heart’s version of “Stairway to Heaven”, from the Kennedy Center Honors; Chris Stapleton’s soulful country music. The music is familiar and I can sing along. Even dance a bit. Between the movie and the melodies, the mood lifts.
Hunkering down at home can be a good thing, when we are the fortunate ones who are able. Others will not have that privilege. Health care providers and military and emergency workers on the front lines are our heroes. Grocery store workers are our heroes. Teachers are our heroes. Essential service workers are our heroes. When will they get the respect and honor due them?
What do our values and operating principles mean at times like this?
Do we have our team members’ backs? How do we show that in tangible terms?
What are we willing to sacrifice for the greater good?
Are business continuity and succession plans in place and ready to be activated?
This is a time for more communication, not less. This is a time for decisive action and kindness.
Quarantining at home doesn’t have to mean being alone if we intentionally reach out to others and connect by other means.
Desperation and deprivation are the mothers of innovation. What will we create and invent?
We don’t know (what will happen), but we can believe. Hope and decisive action for the greatest good are the hallmarks of great leaders.
Sunday morning, March 15. The sun casts its light on the earth as nature awaits spring and buds and blooms eagerly prepare to show themselves once again. The first cardinal of the season appears. It is crisp and cold in upstate New York. I inhale the air deeply. As it fills my lungs I find gratitude. I am purpose filled. Renewed. Attitude is a choice.
With love, grace and kindness, I will continue to support clients and others in all ways I am able, as a thinking partner, a coach, and a fellow human being navigating together in the most uncertain of times.
Sherri McArdle is a wife and mother to adult children and has been a business leader/owner for over 25 years. She is also a Master Certified Coach (MCC) to leaders and executives across the country and a trained mediator.
