For Less Conflict, Try More Disagreement.
Most people dislike conflict. A few thrive on it. Others will do anything to avoid one. We're also apparently not alone in this behavior...
But constructive conflict is vital to problem solving and innovation, because it’s the only way teams sort out different perspectives - and evolve their thinking, together - to reach better solutions and outcomes. If team members “pseudo” agree with each other, they may check out and lack the commitment to work towards shared goals.
You may hear, “She's just being passionate about her idea” when emotions run high. But someone’s intensity, on any given subject, can overpower a team and persuade them to move in a less optimal direction. That intensity may shut down dialogue and erode relationships by not respecting and valuing others’ points of view.
Leaders wisely create the space for their team to communicate and collaborate more often - before emotions run high. This enables team members to successfully work through disagreements (lower level conflicts) that build relational trust and reduce the need for larger conflict.
Resolving conflicts and disagreements constructively requires leaders to establish safe space and to demonstrate genuine curiosity, empathetic listening, respect for other’s perspectives, high emotional regulation, and non-judgement. It also requires a commitment of sufficient time. Time that will pay off.
Leaders, if you want less conflicts, encourage more constructive disagreement on your team.
Sherri McArdle is a wife and mother to adult children and has been a business leader/owner for over 25 years. She is also a Master Certified Coach (MCC) to leaders and executives across the country and a trained mediator.
